Dear Notre-Dame,
I understand that only the pope is infallible and that his eyes can’t be everywhere, but the next time you’re printing up a poster to place in front of the most visited monument in the world’s most touristed city please consider sending it to me first to be proofread.
Though I am not one of your faithful, I have spent many precious moments with you and your sisters, each more lovely than the next, and so I will gladly provide my services free of charge in exchange for a few earnest prayers.
Rest assured: I am not mocking you—certainly not in the way that someone has recently ridiculed poor Corneille up on the hill near the scant relics of your beloved St. Geneviève, patron saint of this lovely city with the sad sky.
Forgive me then for drawing attention to your little mistake… but perhaps not too quickly, for as Corneille himself wrote:
Qui pardonne aisément invite à l’offenser.
He who forgives easily invites offense.
Respectfully yours,
Gary
May 19, 2013
P.S. Break at leg at the concert — or Merde, as the archbishop might say.
