You see, Henri’s dreams are filled with gold thread, plush red velour and the seats of power. The décor in the royal apartments at Versailles may be too gaudy even for Henri’s taste, yet the scent of royalty and of noble etiquette is the finest of perfumes to his French nostrils.
So the thought that I, an American who owned a GI Joe doll when he was 4, would be invited to the throne exhibition before it opened to the public was as vexing to Henri as a French chef telling a Texan how to barbecue ribs.
“Speaking of saddles,” I said when he ask if I’d seen “True Grit,” “you really should see the exhibition ‘Thrones in Majesty’ at Versailles. I called to see if you wanted to meet the curator with me for a private tour but the line was busy so I figured you were still trying to deal with that little problem of yours.”
The latter was a lie, and I don’t know what little problem he might have been having, but it was enough to bring out hives on his neck. That’s the entire difference between college French and actual Parisian: the former teaches you how to engage in conversation, the latter teaches you how to put someone down.
“I saw ‘Black Swan,’ he said. “Good acting but I didn’t care for much for the story.”
“Yes, well it’s too bad that you weren’t available to go with me to see the thrones. I had the Hall of Mirrors to myself.”
“The exhibition will be there until June 19,” I continued, “but if I were you I’d try to get there by Easter. After that the crowds will make it difficult to see the thrones. After those recent exhibitions relative to the chateau’s decorative splendor or kitsch, the display of the thrones gives an eerie sense of the emptiness of a power once it’s gone.”
“I don’t need a lesson in French history from an American.”
“Not just French, Henri, there are other thrones as well: Chinese, Papal, Polish, African, Incan.”
“I know,” he said, “I’ve seen the catalogue.”
“Yes, I’m sure the catalogue is beautiful. Some people are content with that. Personally I prefer the real thing—but that’s just me. And you’d love to see the throne of the Russian Emperor Paul I. Aren’t you the one with that quaint little collection of copies of Russian imperial Champagne glasses?”
“Yes, you would have those glasses on Saturday if I’d invited you to my dinner party, but it was just for a few close friends.”
Parisians hate when you out-French them.
“You have close friends now?” I said. “How nice for you. Anyway, you really should see the thrones, if not by Easter then at least by May, especially to get an uncrowded view of Napoleon’s throne in front of David’s painting of the Coronation of Napoleon.”
“As a matter of fact,” he said, “I’m planning on going to exhibition right after I return from my weekend with friends who have a chateau in Burgundy. You wouldn’t know them.”
“But you wouldn’t want to go right after the weekend, Henri—the chateau of Versailles is closed on Monday. The gardens remain open through.”
“Yes, I’ve been there many times.”
“Perhaps, but not like this…”
Thrones in Majesty, Chateau de Versailles, March 1-June 19, 2011. Open 9am-5:30pm until March 31, 9am-6:30pm beginning April 1. Entrance: 15€ (chateau+exhibition), including audioguide. To get to Versailles from Paris take RER C to Versailles-Rive Gauche (last stop). The chateau is 10-minute walk from the station.
© 2011, Gary Lee Kraut
Loved every word, Gary! Félicitations de votre esprit de repartie !
Thanks, Joanne. So glad to have a reader who gets my cross-cultural humor.