Vignette: Paris Weather Report

There is no such thing as global warming. It’s a hoax, an invention of socialists looking for an excuse to have government regulate everything and of their scientist lackeys looking for subsidies for their spirit-hating research. But they can’t regulate everything because it’s the Supreme Being—the Big and Only One—who’s in control and the only subsidies that count are the ones that He doles out: Life and Big Sky Forever. He’s letting us know that by making it as cold as hell on this April morning in Paris, just as He’s made it every morning for as far back as we can remember. He—the Big Guy—has been testing us on the 850th anniversary of the founding of Our Big Lady Cathedral to see how far residents and tourists are willing to go to please le Diable—the Evil One from the vast vinegar-cellar of Hell—and we have failed!

Notre-Dame, visions of Hell on the cathedral of Paris. Paris weather. Photo GLK.
Notre-Dame, visions of Hell on the cathedral of Paris. Photo GLK.

OMG, just look around you in Paris on this frigid morning and bear witness to the city’s sinful descent: a city where sculptures of naked men and women shamelessly decorate the gardens, the capital of a country with a national health system that pays for birth control pills and abortions, a place where tourists mock communion while visiting Notre-Dame and Sacré Coeur then queue happily at Ladurée and Pierre Hermé to gorge themselves on colorful sugar wafers, 2€ a pop, where a president lives openly in sin yet declares it a private matter, a metropolis where an atheist majority has twice elected a homosexual mayor (who may soon have the right to preside over ceremonies to marry other homosexuals) and where two women, twin Jezebels, are now publicly hissing and clawing at each other as they fight to replace him rather than stay at home caring for children and pleasing husbands.

Repent! Repent! Or we’ll all be damned and frozen for eternity.

Or so it is written in stone above the central door of Notre-Dame in the City of Paris, where blasphemy is not a crime.

(c) 2013, Gary Lee Kraut.

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